You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
An American Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze
why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them
An Italian Corporation:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You
claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You
still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
A Brazilian Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to
sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and
dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Butterflies drinking the tears of a Yellow Spotted River turtle in
the Amazon. It is believed the salty liquid is needed to help them
produce. The endangered yellow-spotted river turtle cannot easily brush
the salty liquid away, while the insects need sodium in its diet. In
addition to sodium, tears also contain proteins that could represent a
high-quality resource throughout the year.
Photo credit: Jeff Cremer
If we’re going to keep putting roads in the middle of their habitats,
animals are sometimes going to need to cross the road. But it’s better
for everyone involved if they don’t have to push a button and wait for
the light to change, because they don’t have thumbs and nine times out
of 10 they’ll just careen into the side of your car. Which is why some
highways have overpasses built specifically for animals like deer, elk,
and grizzly bears.
Nobody teaches moose pedestrian etiquette like “look both ways,” but
they figure out pretty quickly that crossing the terrifying asphalt
river is safer if you take the beautiful grassy bridge. That’s just my
guess at a moose’s internal life, but there’s data too: In Banff
National Park in Canada, animals have used the six overpasses and 35
underpasses more than 200,000 times since monitoring began in 1996.